How a Sex Scandal Teacher Became the First Lady of France
Political pundits around the world are struggling to make sense of how Emmanuel Macron, a 35-year-old moderate, became the youngest elected leader of France since Napoleon in a landslide win over the more experienced, hard line Marine Le Pen. Even in Paris, the city that’s been the front line in ISIS’ terror war against the West, Le Big Mac pulled down 90 percent of the vote.
So the analysts are trying to figure out what it means. Is Macron the French counter-balance to Trump? Or does he further the worldwide trend toward anti-establishment candidates? Does his election signal support for the EU? How is this relative kid now in charge of a nuclear arsenal? Well I explained it two weeks ago when I told the story of how Macron’s wife, the well preserved 64-year-old, Chelsea Handler-looking Brigitte Trogneaux, was his high school drama teacher. And how at the age of 15, he not only started giving her the pork sword, but got her to ditch her husband and kids for her.
Needless to say, an election involving a Sex Scandal Teacher’s student gave me a dog in the French political fight like I’ve never had before, so I paid attention. And I can tell you the exact moment Macron won it. During last week’s debate, when his opponent “went there“:
“You are the default candidate and you should show a little less arrogance,” said Ms Le Pen.
“You’re trying to play with me like a teacher with a pupil.”
Oof. As the French would say, “Brûlure malade.” And the exact moment Le Pen cost herself any chance to win. In spite of our perceived differences, the French are very much like us. They fought a revolution against a tyrant. They love democracy. Vive la Liberte and all that. They go to church, but not too much. We share a mutual love of carbs and dairy. Booze and tobacco. Sex and lunatic grown women who take up careers in teaching just to throw it all away and destroy their families so they can bone their teenage students.
And you don’t win over the voters by making snarky comments about said student playing with said teacher. All she did there was remind everyone in France that Macron is a pure Alpha. A sexual overachiever who deserves to be in charge, just as Napoleon was when he was conquering Europe’s vaginas faster than he was conquering its armies. And at that point, a landslide was assured.
So thank, France. You gave the world French Fries, French Toast and the menage. And now you’ve given us the Sex Scandal Teacher First Lady. We can only hope America follows you on this like we did on those.